As most of you know, my grandma passed away on Saturday. I will be heading to PHX for the funeral, soon. It has been hard to understand how real it is. Being over 1000 miles away, it had not seemed real until today. My sister e-mailed the obituary to me while I was at work.(http://www.legacy.com/azcentral/Obituaries.asp?Page=Lifestory&PersonId=109661871) I opened it up and there it was in black/white. There was no getting around it, it is real. My dad and sister have done a good job taking care of the arrangements so that the rest of the family doesn't have to. I truly have a great family. Back to the realness...I was driving home from work tonight and had my Ipod on shuffle. What song came on but "Holes in the Floor of Heaven" by Colin Ray. If you haven't heard it, the opening verse is very fitting. "One day shy of (twenty)eight years old,When
grandma passed away.I was a broken
hearted little boy,Blowing out that
birthday cake.How I cried when the sky let
go,With a cold lonesome rain.My
mom smiled, said: "Don't be sad child."Grandma's
watching you today.""'Cos
there's holes in the floor of Heaven,"And her tears
are pouring down."That's
how you know she's watching,"Wishing she could be here
now."An' sometimes if
you're lonely,"Just remember she can see."There's holes in
the floor of
Heaven"And she's watching over you and me."
I then realized how lucky I am. not lucky to have lost my grandma, but the fact that I have all of my grandparents with God in heaven taking care of my family. As I get older I view death differently. As a child I did not understand why people would tell me to be happy because my family member has gone on to a better place. That did not make sense to me. As an adult, I understand a bit more. I still believe that it is more than ok to be sad, for our loss and sad that our loved one is not with us anymore. But I truly believe that once this feeling of anguish has passed our family, we will know and understand the blessing of eternal life in heaven. Wow.... God is truly complex and simple all at the same time. My favorite line from an Aaron Shust song is "I am not skilled to understand what God has willed, what God has planned". This has become a bit of a motto for me this year. It reminds me that we are all part of a much larger plan. Grandma will forever be missed but she is now busy working for the King.
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4 comments:
I couldn't agree with you more. We certainly are not skilled to understand what God has planned for us. I have learned that more this year than ever just as you have. I know your grandma loved you and is now watching over us all. As sad as it is to lose someone we love it certainly is comforting to know they are up there rooting us on. I love you!
Just saw this on Jen's blog...I am so sorry about your loss... I can't even imagine how you all feel. I only have my Mamaw left, and I don't know how I will handle it when she's gone... Prayers for your whole family...
I have to say the past year has been a huge eye opener for me! Life has definetely been put in perspective for me! don't sweat the small stuff. My motto is what's done is done and what do you do, you just gotta make the best of it! I am realizing that I am not the one in control. thanks for your words Jim!
I love that song. It is a powerful song and really does say it all. I remember your grandma and she was such an awesome lady. What a comfort to know that you guys will be reunited one day in heaven.
There's another great song by Matt Redman called "You Never Let Go"...no matter how bad things get, God never leaves you.
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