Saturday, May 17, 2008

Thoughts on a long emotional day.

Today was my grandma's funeral. The service was great. Very fitting for her. Her love for her family, for God and for the Phx Suns was talked about over and over again. Just as she would have had it. She was remembered very nicely. Another thing that Grandma did in her passing was she brought family members and friends who had not seen each other in many many years, together today. It was so strange to see cousins and 2nd cousins, long time family friends, who I hadn't seen in years. It's weird, I never change but everyone around me sure does. lol. It was crazy to see all of the kids I remember to now be young men and women. Where does the time go? As strange as it sounded every time I said it, it truly was "Great to see everyone" today. Again, Grandma would have wanted us to all be reunited. It is unfortunate, however, that in today's society it often takes funerals or other life impacting events to pull people together. I do wish there was a way that we would not have to "find time" to be with one another but rather "make time" to be together. As I said goodbye to many of them today I left them with "I hope to see you soon". This was the truth, I do hope to see them soon. But I have no idea when. I do hope that it is before the next life impacting event. Even after her passing Grandma is still teaching us lessons and giving us perspective. Our mission is to learn and apply these lessons. Never take your loved one's for granted and always let them know how much you love them. Even when you are thousands of miles away MAKE TIME to remember what is truly important on this earth. Goodnight.

Wednesday, May 14, 2008

One More Person Rooting Us On.

As most of you know, my grandma passed away on Saturday. I will be heading to PHX for the funeral, soon. It has been hard to understand how real it is. Being over 1000 miles away, it had not seemed real until today. My sister e-mailed the obituary to me while I was at work.( I opened it up and there it was in black/white. There was no getting around it, it is real. My dad and sister have done a good job taking care of the arrangements so that the rest of the family doesn't have to. I truly have a great family. Back to the realness...I was driving home from work tonight and had my Ipod on shuffle. What song came on but "Holes in the Floor of Heaven" by Colin Ray. If you haven't heard it, the opening verse is very fitting.

"One day shy of (twenty)eight years old,When
grandma passed away.I was a broken
hearted little boy,Blowing out that
birthday cake.
How I cried when the sky let
go,With a cold lonesome rain.My
mom smiled, said: "Don't be sad child."Grandma's
watching you today.""'Cos
there's holes in the floor of Heaven,"And her tears
are pouring down."That's
how you know she's watching,"Wishing she could be here
now."An' sometimes if
you're lonely,"Just remember she can see."There's holes in
the floor of
Heaven"And she's watching over you and me."

I then realized how lucky I am. not lucky to have lost my grandma, but the fact that I have all of my grandparents with God in heaven taking care of my family. As I get older I view death differently. As a child I did not understand why people would tell me to be happy because my family member has gone on to a better place. That did not make sense to me. As an adult, I understand a bit more. I still believe that it is more than ok to be sad, for our loss and sad that our loved one is not with us anymore. But I truly believe that once this feeling of anguish has passed our family, we will know and understand the blessing of eternal life in heaven. Wow.... God is truly complex and simple all at the same time. My favorite line from an Aaron Shust song is "I am not skilled to understand what God has willed, what God has planned". This has become a bit of a motto for me this year. It reminds me that we are all part of a much larger plan. Grandma will forever be missed but she is now busy working for the King.

Monday, May 12, 2008

Weekend of Memories

This weekend was one to remember. Who would have thought that we would be feeling opposite emotions at the same time? It was a weekend that Lisa and I have been looking forward to and one that we wish would never have to come. Lisa graduated from Texas Women's University and unfortunately my grandma was taken from this earth, all in the same day. A complete joyous day and a day of mourning. We know that grandma is now in a better place, one that we strive for everyday. Although we are excited that she is in heaven with God, we are sad she is not here with us. Emotions are great whether happy or sad, they put many things in perspective. It's strange how death can make you remember and enjoy those little things in life. Yesterday we celebrated Lisa's graduation with her commencement ceremony as well as a party to remember. Lisa's hard work was capped off by a little bar-b-que and karaoke with some family and good friends, minus my dad and Jen who went home to Phx to attend to my grandma's arrangements (thank you two so much). After the bar-b-que, we sang until we could not sing anymore, or until everyone left. We had a great time and cannot wait for Lisa to graduate again so we can do it all over. Today we went to the Texas Rangers game, it was a fun day in the sun. However, they did not win, it did not matter because it was all about us spending time with one another. Again, the important things in life. Thank you to all who helped us celebrate Lisa's accomplishments and please keep our family in your prayers this week as it will have it's challenging moments.

Monday, May 5, 2008

Sleep is Over Rated....

...Or, so I used to think. I remember in the not so distant past when I could stay up until 2am and then be up at 6 to catch a flight then function properly throughout my day. Well, those days are long gone. My body is now on a schedule. This schedule allows me to be up somewhere between 5:45am-6:30am every morning, but then makes it extremely hard for me to stay awake past 10:30pm. As hard as I try, my body is constantly on shutdown mode after that time. This is a problem because in order to get done what I need done, I need to stay up a bit later. Here's the deal, it doesn't matter if I am watching TV, reading, working on the computer or just hanging out, it is a chore to stay awake. Forget putting a movie on after 10, I'm lucky if I make it past the previews. I now have a feeling of what narcoleptic individuals feel like. I could probably be in the middle of a conversation and pass out. Why is this happening and why to me? I'm only 28, too young to be so tired. Or am I? I can tell you that I have never had a dependency on something until recently. I do love some coffee now. As Lisa would say, it's my drug of choice. I am however, making a conscious effort to ONLY drink it when I am in NEED of it, and on Sunday mornings. Last week I only had one cup of coffee, again besides Sunday. Remember, in the mornings I can wake up and function, it's the nights that I am a zombie. So all this being said, Do I feel that sleep is over rated? Not anymore!!! Ok, going to bed now, I have to wake up in a few hours and do it all over again! Until then...sweet dreams.